Friday, June 19, 2009

So Spake the White Man:


"Help! Help! I'm being oppressed!"

Honestly at this point, if Sotomayor just came out and said "Yo, I'm here to step on the faces of white males everywhere with my Wise Latina boots, I'm fo sho here to oppress you"? I'd be all like "Word. Do whatcha gotta do, Sonia."

Seriously. Bitch bitch whine whine.

Republicans are pretty much running out of their own rhetoric, so they're borrowing that of like. ACTUALLY oppressed people.

Tuesday, June 2, 2009

D'oh

Following quickly on the heels of my hometown pride post comes this embarassing tidbit. The good news? Alberta recently passed legislation intended to enshrine gay rights into law. The bad news? They managed to squeeze a little clause into the legislation which allows parents to pull their kids from any classes discussing religion, sex, or sexual orientation. Written notice is required prior to any of this material being covered.

Because, guys, we had better shield our kids from evol evol sexxors and teh gayz and other peoples' beliefs.

Sigh.

Monday, June 1, 2009

Hometown Pride, Redux

Not only is it the Best city in the world to live, Calgary is also the smartest in Canada.

Owned.

Thursday, May 28, 2009

Archie Chooses Veronica


In an upcoming six-part series, Archie (yes, that Archie seems set to finally marry Veronica, after 600 issues or so of dithering between the latter Mean Girl and the loveable blonde Betty.

The new set of issues is going to "explore the Riverdale gang's graduation from college and their shift into adult life", which somehow just freaks me out.

But can we just examine this situation for a second? Ok, yea, Veronica is hot and she's rich but, umm... she is also, like, evil. And her dad hates him. And she's evil. And she'll probably be fucking Reggie within a week of the honeymoon.

Betty, on the other hand, while sometimes clingy, has the advantage of not being a crazy bitch.

I assume it won't last, and the writers will find some convenient way to return to the old triangle we all love/hate. Because that's what the series pretty much hinges on entirely. Well, that and the awesomeness that is Jughead,

Sunday, May 10, 2009

Cool Stuff I Know About: Egyptian Mummies


So you know when you're a kid, and the world is all still so desperately interesting? And you can't stop reading about dinosaurs and mummies and all the cool gross stuff your body? And you try to get your mom to subscribe to to "ARCHAEOLOGY!!" the magazine, and know how to pronounce "parasaurolophus" but not "wolf"?

...anybody?

Anyway. I was big into Egypt. And here for your pleasure and interest is a brief summary on Mummies And Why They Are Gross And Cool.

So mummification has been a practice in ancient Egypt since some point in the Middle Kingdom (Let's say... 2000 BC?). The point of the whole process was the idea that after death, the soul, or ba has to go on a long and elaborate journey through the underworld, undergoing all sorts of rigourous tests and adventures. The Egyptian Book of the Dead is supposed to be a sort of guidebook for the soul in the underworld, and has all kinds of spells and incantations to get past the various trials of the Underworld. At any rate, the soul eventually reaches a scale where the heart is weighed against a feather. If the person had been honest and good in life, the heart would be lighter than a feather. If it turned out to be heavier, the soul would be eaten by a crocodile-headed monster thing and, presumably, die fr rlz this time.
ANYWAY the ba, if it had been good, would be reunited with the body for the afterlife. For this reason the body had to remain as intact and recognizable as possible, or the ba would have to wander the underworld for eternity etc. Hence, mummification, which was facilitated by the hot, dry climate of Egypt. Although the climate itself was helpful in preserving the body, the actual process was all sorts of elaborate and thoroughly gross.
First they'd take out all the organs etc and save the ones they thought were important in canopic jars. These included the liver and heart, among others. The brain they chucked, since the heart was thought to be the centre of thought (oops). Oh and, brains, incidentally... were removed by sticking a hook up the nose, (waaay wayy up!), wriggling it around til everything went gooey, and then taking it out through the nostrils. Yum.
Then the body was sewn back up and dried out with mineral salts. And then wrapped with rags soaked in tar or resin. And then buried in like eight layers of coffin, and also a funerary mask designed to look as lifelike as possible so the soul would recognize it.
The mummy would also be buried with various items from life, from jewelry to pottery, that the deceased would be able to use in the afterlife. Sometimes they were buried with little statues called ushabtis which would perform work for them in the afterlife.
Being that the process was so expensive, time-consuming and elaborate, it was largely only the very rich who would be buried in such a manner. Still, graves have been found with less elaborately mummified remains and much more modest tombs, which seem to have belonged to lower-class families.

Friday, May 8, 2009

Dijongate

Exams and term papers and moving houses all done with, the ol' blog is slowly getting up and running again. Soon I'll be posting something of either substance or length (I can't guarantee both, however), but in the meantime, I leave you with the earth-shattering presidential scandal dubbed Dijongate. After months of in-depth investigative journalism and political research, conservative bloggers have finally dug up a shocking skeleton in Obama's proverbial closet: he eats his burgers with Dijon.

I shit you not, this is what has the Republican blogosphere all riled up right now!

I lol'd.

Saturday, April 18, 2009

People I Love: Obama Mama Edition


Yeah, I said it. Because I like words that rhyme. And it was either that or a facebook-style side-heart (<3) next to Obama's name, sooo either way, my dignity was gonna be shot.

I am in love with Barack Obama. I am in love with how well he plays the political game. I am in love with how he Uses His Powers For Good. I am in love with him condemning Guantanamo. I am in love with him not treating Chavez like a rabid pitbull. I am in love with his Teleprompter problem. I am in love with his white, white teeth. I am in love with him reaching out to Cuba: for acknowledging that the fifty-year American policy of isolating Cuba has "failed to advance liberty or opportunity for the Cuban people." I am in love with his lift on the Global Gag Order. I am in love with his wife's dangerous eyebrows. I am in love with his impromptu trip down to the Byward Market in Ottawa to buy keychains and cookies. I am in love with his lack of partisan bullshit. I am in love with his optimism. I am in love with his Al Smith dinner speech.

Also he cuts a damn fine figure in a suit.