razor candy

Soul Candy: Things that Inspire & Make Me Smile - Holiday Edition

2012-01-03T20:41:00.001-05:00

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Watching puppies playfight

Tickling little puppy paws

Sending Christmas cards

Receiving Christmas cards (even better!)

Huge fluffy cartoon-proportioned snowflakes falling at night

Beer, wings and hockey games with my papabear, brotherbear, and manbear

Getting the Boyf hooked on The Hunger Games

Those oldschool cardboard advent calendars with tiny waxy chocolates in them

The anticipation of skating

A Muppet Christmas Carol (Michael Caine as Scrooge? Yes!)

Saturday afternoon cuddle-naps

Window-shopping at Bed, Bath and Beyond

Champagne-pong on New Year's Eve (Like beer pong, only much more classy)

Road trips to visit family

Tearing into immaculately-wrapped gifts with toddler-like glee

Cheese. Oh God, so much cheese.

The chance to see friends who have moved away

Candlelight

Zoolights!

Trying to sing Auld Lang Syne as Scottishly as possible

Watching little kids skate circles around you and still having fun

Guys! What made your holiday season a blast?

Weetabix will turn your child into a tiny raver

2011-11-06T15:22:00.002-05:00

The Monster List of Halloween Ideas

2011-10-30T12:42:00.000-04:00

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Halloween is just around the corner – a night of ghosts, goblins, witches, zombies and the ubiquitous Sexy Lady Firefighter/Cop/Bumblebee. For some, it’s an opportunity to don another face, another personality for one night. For others, it’s an opportunity to wrap oneself in a roll of toilet paper (mummy, amiright?) and hit the town consuming Halloween-themed shots from test tubes and ending the evening by doing one’s best impression of the vomiting jack-o-lantern. Or maybe you’re the type to turn your garage into a haunted house and make those little trick-or-treaters earn the hell out of their candy. Bonus Peanut Butter Cups if your life-like Frankenstein makes someone six or older cry.

But for some of us, Halloween is a month-long build-up of awesome. Like Christmas. Or ten-percent-Tuesdays at Safeway. Well, you can’t trick-or-treat every day, and barhopping in mummy garb on October 15th will get you some funny looks indeed. So how do you keep in the holiday spirit in the days leading up to Halloween? Here are some ideas!

__________

Eat some spooktacular treats. Leftover (or pre-emptive) Halloween candy is always choice, but there are definitely other options. Why not make some:

Pumpkin Soup
Pumpkin cupcakes
Zombie brownies
Pumpkin pie
Candy apples

__________

While we’re on the subject of tastiness, you know what’s awesome? Halloween-themed beers and other goodies!

Hobgoblin
Pumpkineater (by Howe Sound)
Amber’s Sap Vampire
Coney Island Freaktoberfest
Crystal Head Vodka (for the less wallet-conscious among us)
And, of course, any red wine ever (or cherry Sourpuss!) can easily be re-labeled “True Blood”

__________

For the more literarily-inclined, sometimes nothing is more satisfying than curling up with a mug of bright orange jack-o-lantern hot chocolate and a spooky book. Might I recommend:

- Halloween, a compilation of super-spooky stories edited by Paula Guran. My favourites were Struwwelpeter" by Glenn Hirshberg (which I re-read immediately upon finishing to look for details I had missed!) and “The Sticks” by Charlee Jacob. The former is couched in spooky local lore (old man, haunted house, spooky kid) but the real terror turns out to be just a little too real-world for comfort. “The Sticks,” meanwhile, offers a straight-up supernatural tale dark and creepy enough for Stephen King.

- Your old Goosebumps novels tucked away in the basement - Slappy still gives me nightmares.

- The Oxford Book of Gothic Tales

- The Dreams in the Witch House and Other Weird Stories by H.P Lovecraft

- The Little Stranger, by Sarah Walters. A dark, literary ghost story set in a decaying mansion in post-war England. Shivery-good.

- Variations for the more faint-of-heart: Harry Potter, The Dresden Files, Charlaine Harris, Dean Koontz (his Frankenstein series is way fun) or Neil Gaiman's The Graveyard Book.

_________

Snuggle up with your sweetie (or cat or beer), turn out the lights, and watch something spooky. Like:

- The admittedly terrible made-for-TV movie HalloweenTown

- Insidious, which my boyfriend yawned through but which almost made me cry

- Old episodes of Charmed and Buffy

- The Nightmare Before Christmas

- The Ring

- The Blair Witch Project (Yes. Yes, I am a wuss. That movie terrified me)

- Anything black-and-white and featuring Vincent Price

- The Brothers Grimm

- Paranormal Activity

- The Scream movies! Especially, of course, the first one.

__________

And of course, you need to decorate! I like:

Blacklights, strobelights, floodlights
As many jack-o-lanterns as I can fit on my front steps
Cut-out ghosts and goblins in windows
Dressing up a plastic skeleton in old sweatpants and a hoodie and perching him in a tree
Spiderwebs. Everywhere.
Light-up skulls along the sidewalk

__________

Some final ideas:

Paint jack-o-lanterns on your finger nails
Go to a local haunted house, country fair or the like. In Calgary, I like Screamfest and Heritage Park’s Ghouls Night Out

__________

What do you do to celebrate this most awesome of holidays?

On Love

2011-10-18T14:45:00.000-04:00

The Thanksgiving List

2011-10-10T22:32:00.000-04:00

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This weekend, I've been thankful for:

Good hair days

Greek food

Scandalous-tiny dresses

My mother, brother, stepdad, father, stepsisters, grandparents

Lights

Miniature music boxes

Gin martinis, slightly dirty

Sensible shoes

Feist

Celebrating the first year of my relationship with the man of my dreams

Candy-apple red nail polish

Those temporary halloween-themed shops that pop up in late September

Isabel Archer

Being lucky enough to live in such a relatively peaceful, prosperous part of the world

e.e cummings

Cupcakes & milk

What did you thank your lucky stars for this weekend?

Lady Gaga and Tony Bennett Sing "The Lady Is A Tramp"

2011-10-04T19:32:00.001-04:00

I can't not love this. The two cheesiest singers to ever cheese. The two hammiest ham-bags to ever ham it up for the camera. Intergenerational collaboration. Blue hair!

What do you think?

Twenty-Five Things: Start my own business

2011-10-04T19:18:00.001-04:00

You may remember my list of Twenty-Five Things to do Before 25. You may also recall, nestled innocuously in between "See La Boheme" and "Make pumpkin cupcakes," the ultra-ambitious Thing Number 13: Start My Own Business. I talked a little bit about my decision to go into business for myself in this post, and I'm sure you have all been waiting breathlessly to find out what came of it.

Well!

Just a few days ago, I officially launched the website for Roxanne Evans Writing Solutions. I'm going to be offering all kinds of writing and editing services for businesses, academia, and folks like you! Of course, I'm not being naive. Before I reach my inevitable pinnacle of international acclaim, fame and fortune (and Pulitzer prize for copyediting), I will of course continue working the glamourous world of retail to pay the bills.

I can't remember the last time I was so exhilarated, motivated, and simultaneously terrified. But the most terrifying things, as I've said before, are the things that are most worth doing. I owe it to myself to take a deep breath and dive in to this crazy new adventure - I am terribly lucky in that the thing I love most to do (writing!) is also something that I am actually pretty good at.

So how about you fine people? Have you ever done something super scary-exciting? Started an endeavour at which you were not entirely sure of success at all?

Tell me all about it!

Soul Candy: Things that inspire & make me smile

2011-09-19T13:40:00.004-04:00

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The sound of tea being poured
Milk Made hand cream and scrub by Cake (omgod, the smell!)
Candles that smell like baking cookies and pumpkin pie
Terrifying new business ventures
Surprise parental beach weddings – my mama and step-papa got married and I couldn’t be happier for them!
Canadian History for Dummies. I am trying to Improve Myself.
Jim Butcher's The Dresden Files – he’s a hard-boiled Chicago detective. Who is also a wizard. And there are faeries. Also vampires. And a trademark hat.
The fact that a book exists entitled Pleasure Bound: Victorian Sex Rebels and the New Eroticism. And that I own it.
A freshly-tidied room
Wiener-PawLooza! - Which, incidentally, is both less dirty and even more ridiculous than it sounds
A ham sandwich with a glass of milk and a pickle or two
Crave cupcakes. I know it's terribly twee, not to mention old news, but holy God are they good.
Old university textbooks on archaeology and piracy and Victorian London and art
This song - I defy you not to boogie like a fiend:

On what's scary - and fun

2011-09-14T20:06:00.002-04:00

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This rather long post serves as a breathless excuse as to why I have been a somewhat negligent blogger as of late. The short-short version, for those of you with limited attention spans (don't look at me like that - I'm one of you!), is that I am omgstartingmyownbusiness! And wow. It is hard work - and I have barely scratched the surface so far.

I have always worked at "safe" jobs. Predictable hours, pay, and people. Even when I worked at a restaurant, I went the hostess route because the shifts were stable and the tips small but predictable.

About seven months ago, I landed what seemed like a dream job: a 9-5 position as an administrative assistant for a respected neurosurgeon and professor. I ordered coffee. I paid bills. I set up meetings. I typed memos and emails and made travel arrangements. I learned a lot and I earned respectable pay. I was acceptably good at my job.

Once in a while, I would do non-administrative work around the office. I would help my boss write academic papers and grant applications. I would help him with wording and editing. I helped with some of the copy on a website for one of his business ventures. And I was excellent at those things. All of a sudden the work day would blast by me - I felt not just proficient, but truly motivated.

I began to realize that when I enjoyed what I did, it not only was it more fun, but I was better at it. I took pride in my work in a way I never had in a nonacademic setting. And gradually, I realized something. I realized that I could do this full-time. I could take the parts of my job that I loved - writing and editing, creating and marketing, collaborating for new ideas - and separate them out from the parts I hated. Like university bureaucracy, buggy financial systems and miles of Excel spreadsheets.

I could become a freelance writer! A literary jack-of-all-trades. Copy-editor, copy writer, business letters, ghostwriting, proofreading, I could do it all and charge by the page. I could set my own priorities and succeed or fail on my own damn initiative. What a brilliant idea!

The only problem, of course, is that freelancing is scary. You have to seek out your own clients. You don't get company health insurance and pensions. You have to market yourself like a mofo and organize the hell out of your life. And of course, the more I researched, the scarier things got. I have to charge GST? I don't even know what I'm charging per page! What if I can't find clients? What if, what if, what if? How do I guarantee I will maintain a livable income? Oh god, I'm gonna need a website!

The thing is, though, pretty much everything worth having or doing in life seems to be basically terrifying. Learning to drive. Moving out of your parents' house. Moving across the country to go to school. Falling in love. Travelling on your own.

Change is nerve-wracking. But nothing truly amazing ever comes from remaining static, does it? So, long story short, I did it. Well, I took the first step. I left my job, resigned myself to living back home for a little while longer (I pay rent, guys! I'm not a freeloading ungrateful child! I have a history degree!), and am now devoting myself, full-time to doin' this thing. I have stacks of library books out on business, on working as a consultant, on freelancing, marketing, copywriting. I'm compiling contact lists and writing inquiry letters and making up business plans, and it is terrifying. But it's also the most motivated I have been in years - I am so excited to be taking charge of my own career!

If anyone has any tips, tricks, or advice to share, I am of course all ears. Ideas? Suggestions? Words of caution or encouragement? Offers of work?

Ear Candy: Fleet Foxes

2011-09-06T21:48:00.002-04:00

Royalty

2011-09-01T15:40:00.001-04:00

Let's all sit down and have a serious discussion about this video of Prince Harry dancing like a white guy and falling into a pool. And then let's give him a high five.

Prince Harry Goes For a Swim at a Croatian Club

Soul Candy: Things that inspire & make me smile

2011-08-25T03:08:00.001-04:00

This week: Aloha Edition!

Geckos. Did you know that they chirp? They chirp!

The boom of a big wave pounding the beach

Long-distance FaceTime dates with my man

Longboard Island Lager

Also, Maui Brewing Co.'s Coconut Porter. Nom.

Drinking watermelon vodka/sprite concoctions with my stepsisters and baby brother. By the pool. Under a palm tree.

Beach reading! Right now I'm juust about to finish book one of Dean Koontz's Frankenstein series

Looking up at night and seeing totally different constellations

Petroglyphs

Warm muggy evenings

Air conditioning

Randomly finding the most perfect, adorable little dress at Banana Republic - a store I never, ever go into!

The ocean. Everything about it. The smell, the sound, diving into it. Bliss.

Nancy Wake, badass Nazi-fighter, passes away at 98

2011-08-16T23:06:00.004-04:00

How have I never heard of this woman before today?

Nancy Wake, who passed away earlier this week at the ripe old age of 98, was, among many other things in her long and colourful lifetime, a key figure in the French resistance during the Second World War. She was also the most decorated woman to come out of the war.

Born in New Zealand and brought up in Australia, Nancy worked as a nurse for a while before pursuing a career in journalism in Europe. In 1933, she interviewed Hitler. Later, after seeing groups of Jews savagely and randomly beaten during a trip to Vienna, she developed a powerful hatred for Nazism that would lead her on a ridiculously inspiring path.

This article in the Independent outlines her story better than I am able, but wow. She and her French husband were among the first resistance fighters in France. During the war, they smuggled hundreds of Jews and fallen Allied airmen out of the country to safety. Eventually, Nancy led 7000 resistance fighters against the occupying Nazis. At one point, she strangled a German sentry with her bare hands.

Equipped with smarts, badassery and crazy good looks, she was able to elude the Nazis for years, earning her the codename "White Mouse" to German intelligence. In 1943, after a close call or seven, she temporarily escaped to Britain via Spain. In England she received guerilla training with the S.O.E, and was parachuted back into France to continue her work with the Resistance. When her parachute caught on a tree branch, she was freed by a French resistance fighter, who lamented that he wished all trees bore "such beautiful fruit." She tartly told him: "Don't give me that French shit."

Excuse me while I hunt down her autobiography.

Soul Candy: Things that inspire & make me smile

2011-08-12T22:45:00.003-04:00

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__________

Keith Farquhar’s Nudes in Colour series (NSFW)

Scary periods of transition

Diving from sun so hot you can’t move into water so cold you can’t breathe

Marc Chagall and all his gorgeous textures

Black cats

Having a little poem published

Having four (4!) long-haired mini dachshunds running in circles around me and snuffling at one another as I blog

Counting down the days to Maui and seeing my wonderful stepsisters!

Too Faced Snow Bunny bronzer for pale-faced folk like myself

Spritzing a perfume I haven’t worn in years and getting a flash of insta-memories

The boyfriend’s awesome-badass but tragically temporary mohawk

Being accidentally tanned

Nine-day road trips through the BC mountains

Shambhala

The sound of water lapping against a dock

__________

So? What has floated your boat this week?

Eye Candy: Chagall

2011-08-12T14:09:00.002-04:00

Marc Chagall. Woman with a Bouquet, 1910. Paris.

A much-needed reminder

2011-08-10T22:56:00.001-04:00

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Ear Candy: Bassnectar + Gogol Bordello

2011-08-10T22:46:00.000-04:00

Brought to you in the spirit of my last post, here's a delicious little piece of ear candy featuring the deeply improbable but super-awesome combo of gypsy punk and dubstep.

Twenty-Five Things: Shambhala

2011-08-10T17:17:00.003-04:00

Fractal Forest

I definitely started off my twenty-five things with a bang!

Shambhala is a gigantic family-run electronic music festival at Salmo River Ranch, BC. They have six themed stages, all playing music 24 hours a day, and interconnected by acres of forest, which is fully decked out with lights and glowing things and hippie art and lasers and tiny sparkling Christmas lights. Ten thousand people all camp out throughout the forest (and cowfields) for four days. There are elaborate costumes, moderate amounts of nudity, and ample venues for live music, performance art, visual art, and general tomfoolery as well.

We arrived two days early in order to get a primo camping spot. The early-arrival ticket involves camping out a night before in a gigantic parking lot. People have music blasting from their vehicles, some of which are super-tricked-out party buses with fold-out dance floors.

Once we got in and set up (a long, elaborate, hot and sticky process in the sun), the awesomeness began in earnest. You don’t have to be a fan of electronic music to have a blast at Shambhala. The stages themselves are works of art. There’s The Living Room, a beachside stage with chill music; The Rock Pit, where if you are lucky you will find an actual live musician or two, rather than just a dude on his Macbook; The Fractal Forest, which is all lasers and black lights and meandering pathways to get lost in; The Village, which is built like a gigantic Swiss Family Robinson treehouse with dubstep tunes blaring; and finally the Labyrinth, the more ‘spiritual’ stage with art strung up everywhere amongst the trees, little candlelit forest altars, secret nooks and crannies, and a more new-agey sound on the stage itself.

Yes there are, by the way, a ton of drugs around. But for all that I still found it to be a completely low-pressure, friendly, accepting environment full of people who were just so happy and excited to be there. I didn’t see one fight, no angry belligerent drunk people, and was never pressured to take any kind of drugs. I am a huge scared-of-drugs wuss and I was rarely even a little uncomfortable. In addition, Shambhala offers all kinds of risk-reduction services, from free pill testing to a "sanctuary" for anyone freaking out or having a bad trip, with medical staff on site. And although all this stuff was present just-in-case, I honestly don’t think I have ever seen more happy, lovey-dovey, full-of-wonder happy hippie people in my entire life.

All in all, a fun, wonderful, lights-and-colours-and-shiny-things experience with theeee best people watching I have ever encountered. Also, The Boyf and I boogied our little butts off into the wee hours every single night.

Exhausting and WONDERFUL!

Twenty-Five Things Before 25

2011-07-28T12:44:00.003-04:00

In (a little less than) a year, I will be hitting the big two-five. A quarter of a century on this earth, two and a half decades, etc. So rather than spend the next twelve months self-indulgently brooding over how unbearably ancient I am (hah), I have decided to celebrate my last year of under-twenty-five-ness. Which, by the way, is totally a thing.

How am I going to do this, you ask? Excellent question. Which, of course, involves a blogging stunt! Inspired by bloggers like Sarah Von at Yes and Yes, and Mary Kate at A Nice Little Place in the Stars, I've compiled a list of twenty-five assorted things to accomplish before I hit 25. Some of them are Big Things. Most of them are Silly Things. All of them should be a lot of fun, and will be thoroughly blogged about, with photographic evidence of their completion! So, without any further ado, ladies and gentlemen - the list:

1. Learn to sip and "appreciate" whiskey properly
2. Get a new tattoo
3. Spend a week makeup-free - at home, at work, everywhere
4. See Pearl Jam live
5. Get a manicure. I've never had one!
6. Learn to snowboard
7. Read Les Miserables
8. Host a tea party
9. Do NaNoWriMo
10. Write a Letter-to-the-Editor of a newspaper or magazine
11. Do one hundred push-ups
12. See La Boheme
13. Start my own business
14. Bake pumpkin cupcakes
15. Submit a dirty story or poem to The Moose and Pussy
16. Start (and maintain) a journal/scrapbook of all the places I want to go and things I want to do
17. Eat a (prepared) bug
18. Learn the ins and outs of my camera
19. Learn to cook 5 actual meals (no KD!)
20. Go rock climbing
21. Go to Shambhala
22. Visit Writing-On-Stone National Park
23. Read The Little Prince.
24. Learn how to make my own scented candles.
25. Go vegetarian for one week.

Wish me luck!

All you need is love

2011-07-27T12:15:00.003-04:00

Phyllis Siegel (77), left and Connie Kopelov, (85) right, were among the first same-sex couples legally married in New York on July 24, 2011.

How can anyone look at this and hate? How is this destroying the "sacred institution of marriage"? These ladies have been together for 23 years!

Summer Reading: Lolita

2011-07-15T19:08:00.000-04:00

Lolita is not what I had expected it to be. I was expecting a dreary, unpleasant, gloomy novel that one must grit one’s teeth and slog through for literary cred. The kind of book, like Of Human Bondage, that I would appreciate, but not enjoy. I was expecting to power through frank-yet-ironic descriptions of unspeakable acts, told dispassionately, as if daring the reader to get all up-in-arms about it.

No, no, no.

Lolita is so beautifully written! So luminescent and glowy that it practically sparkles. The narrator, who calls himself Humbert Humbert, sucks the reader in with his incredible use of language. Puns, alliteration, sprinkles of French, and other assorted types of wordplay abound. That is the trick of this book. It is narrated so beautifully that, before the reader even realizes it, he or she is sucked into engaging intimately with Humbert’s words. His linguistic powers are so vivid, and so beautiful, that it is easy to forget that Humbert is the quintessence of Unreliable Narrator. That is, perhaps, the entire point.

Lolita is certainly not about Lolita. If anything, it is about Humbert Humbert’s construction of Lolita. The reader is never inside Lolita’s head; we learn of her only as Humbert’s possession. Humbert takes away Lo’s past, her self, and her humanity. In fact, “Lolita”’s real name is Dolores Haze. Humbert is the only character who calls her Lolita. Everyone else calls her Dolly or Lo or Dolores. So in a very real sense, “Lolita” is a construct.

Still, we’re afforded glimpses at the other side of the coin. Humbert tells us, for example, that in their first sexual encounter, Lolita seduced him - rather than the other way around. He tells us that Lolita is entirely in control of the relationship. And yet we also hear that she cries herself to sleep every night when she thinks he has dozed off. We see him control her financially and physically. He threatens and intimidates her, and continually reminds her that if she leaves him or reveals their relationship, she has nowhere to go.

Humbert is a terrible person. He is a rapist and a murderer and a pervert. Despite its beauty, Lolita isn’t about how he is a victim of society, or how she is a manipulative young succubus. A lazy reader could conclude either of those things, perhaps - that’s how damn unreliable Humbert is as a narrator. Consider his perspective of the character Clare Quilty, who is exactly his mirror, in both sexual and academic predilections. He is even described as being similar to Humbert of physical appearance. Humbert frames Quilty as a pervert, an abuser, a rapist, a monster. However when it comes down to it, Humbert and Quilty are both, objectively, the same type of predator.

Nabakov himself described Lolita as record of his own “love affair with the English language.” In the end, it’s not about whether Humbert is bad or whether Lolita is a slut or whether pedophilia is a social construct. It’s about language, and how it can be used and manipulated into making lies true and terrible things beautiful.

__________

Another book checked off my summer reading list!

Oh, (screaming) baby!

2011-07-15T10:26:00.005-04:00

So this little tidbit on CBC the other day kind of got me thinking.

It's an article about a restaurant that has banned children under the age of six. Naturally, lots of parents are super angry and lots of non-children-havers are just delighted. I'm not sure how I feel about it.

Actually, that's a lie. I know exactly how I feel about it, but I suspect my perspective is one that would be booed down in most Young Smart People-type circles. Which is why I am going to blast it into the anonymity of the internet: Kids are a part of being out in public. Deal with it.

Look. I don't have kids. I am pretty sure I will want one or two someday in the hazy far (FAR)-off future, but right now my interactions with kids are basically limited to playing with my cousins' children at semi-annual family gatherings. I have worked retail in a busy suburban mall full of screaming children. And yea, there is nothing that can set you on edge like a shrieking child. It's true. Kids are loud and messy and I, too, have been that restaurant patron/store clerk/Starbucks customer grumbling to my boyfriend about how "parents should control their damn kids."

BUT. Really? It's a brief irritation and then you get on with your day. Children are not pets, and let's face it, most of us will have them at some point in our lives. I just don't think it's unreasonable to expect that if you're going out into the public sphere, you're going to encounter them. And deal with it. And get on with your life.

If a restaurant were to adopt a policy, perhaps, of ejecting disruptive guests, I could get behind that. If a parent is clearly not controlling his or her child? If a kid's having a tantrum and the parents don't take him or her outside? Yeah. Definitely. Ask them to leave. By the same token, however... eject that loud drunk lady. Eject the dude with the obnoxious laugh. Kick out the couple arguing over their dinner. Get rid of that abrasive bunch of frat boys. I would rather listen to a kid have a tantrum and then get taken out of the restaurant by their parents than listen to a bunch of thirtysomething suits bray about the number of ways in which they would love to "hit that waitress."

Maybe (probably) I am not articulating this particularly well. But um. Whatchoo think?

Soul Candy: Things that inspire & make me smile

2011-07-14T15:54:00.005-04:00

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Things that made my life this week:

Hoodoos
Camping adventures
Long, hot blackberry-scented baths to soak away camping-grunge

Bath bombs with little surprises in them! Sparkles and pop rocks and little bits of paper that say BOOM!
Dinosaurs
Learning to cook hamburgers and not poisoning anyone
Snuggling up with my boy, listening to the pitter-patter of rain on the tent
"Accidentally" dropping food/intentionally feeding gophers
Ridiculous photo-ops with dinosaur bones
Ghost towns
Making eye contact with a certain Prince Wills as his Princemobile drove by!
Denim short-shorts
The smell of sunshine all over my skin
FINALLY mastering the financial admin system at work
Jon Hamm on reruns of 30 rock. Oh god!

Well? What made you smile this week?

Soul Candy: Things that inspire & make me smile

2011-06-30T21:19:00.001-04:00

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Having big, beautiful books delivered directly to my front door

Facetime calls!

Delicious flavored coffee creamers

Setting up a tent in the living room, crawling in with blankets and watching Dracula

Spilling coffee everywhere BUT my mouse/keyboard/one important piece of paper

Red cowgirl boots

Getting the perfect haircut & colour

When Rihanna goes into Caribbean mode!

Haunted old cities

Movie nights + ice cream floats

Dandelions

Finding out my man is on Team Jacob

Shopping for birthday presents

Kid Cudi

Dreaming of one day attending the Coney Island Mermaid Parade

__________

Well? What has inspired you this week?

A place you should visit: Edinburgh, Scotland

2011-06-29T20:22:00.001-04:00

I went for coffee with an old teacher of mine the other day, and she happened to mention that she is planning a trip to Scotland in September. Obviously I expressed my enthusiasm for the place (or, perhaps more accurately, completely flipped shit). I promised to send her an email listing some of my favourite things in my favourite city in the whole wide world.

Typing along, my quick email soon turned into a mini essay. I was in the throes of nostalgic youth-hood memories of twisting alleys, cobblestone streets, bagpipes, first kisses, and mysterious hostel sock thieves (note: the latter two were not related).

Long story short, I have decided to share my letter to my teacher with the whole wide Internet. Also known as my dozen or so beloved readers.

__________

Edinburgh - YES!

Good afternoon Mrs. [Teacherlady]!

Normally, I would be concerned about hyping up this city so hard that I make disappointment upon arrival inevitable. However, in this case, we are talking Edinburgh, which is a Gothic fairytale freakin’ city.

We are talking old, stained stone buildings. Closes and wynds and alleys that lead into dead-end courtyards where you are pretty sure Victorian villains still show up at night to do shady things. A haunted pub on every corner and fish and chips served up by the seaside wrapped in newsprint. Also, surprisingly good curry.

Edinburgh Castle, next to the Castle Rock Hostel

Edinburgh is, generally speaking, divided into the Old Town and the New Town. New Town is, well, relatively new, with lots of Georgian-type architecture and a more modern feel. Old Town is the super-ancient city proper, comprising the Royal Mile, Edinburgh Castle, the University of Edinburgh campus, and surrounding areas.

Definitely, DEFINITELY take a backpacker walking tour. I recommend the one put on by Budget Backpackers on the Cowgate, right next to Greyfriar’s Kirkyard. It’s either free or very inexpensive, and a nice way to get oriented around the Old Town. They’ll point out the Heart of Midlothian (marking the place where the jail stood, where people like to spit!), meeting spots for graveyard tours, Greyfriars Bobby (of Disney semi-fame!), the best pubs, and mix in lots of the darker and funnier local history. Mercat Tours also does a less-free but still excellent series of walking tours, including some graveyard tours and the South Bridge vaults.

You’ll want to poke around Edinburgh Castle, of course, check out the museums, and maybe climb Arthur’s Seat for a nice view of the city. But there are a few things you definitely must-must do and see:

Greyfriars Kirkyard

Greyfriars Kirkyard is a churchyard and cemetery that have been in use since the early 1560s. There are some terrifically creepy monuments, as well as a rather touching publicly-erected memorial to Greyfriars Bobby. Greyfriars Bobby was a little Scottish terrier who supposedly belonged to a Scottish police officer in the mid-19th century. When the police officer died of tuberculosis, Bobby slept every day on the spot where he was buried, for something like thirteen years; he was cared for and fed by locals, and now has his own little grave just outside the consecrated church grounds.

There are lots of super-elaborate Victorian vaults and tombs, and a back section of the cemetery that is locked up and is supposedly haunted by the ghost of George “Bloody” MacKenzie, who ordered the round-up and mass execution of over 18,000 Scottish covenanters in the 1600s. Of course, you can get an excellent look at the locked-up area - the so-called “Covenanters’ Prison” - by taking the

The City of the Dead Graveyard Tours meeting spot

City of the Dead Graveyard Tour. It’s a cross between folklore and history, and is also most excellently creepy. They give you all kinds of history of the supposed haunting, and warnings about the poltergeist, and if I recall correctly I think there may be a disclaimer you need to sign. There is also lots of fun history and trivia, though. You’ll learn what the iron grills are (Mortsafes, by the way - to keep the “resurrection men” for the 19th-century medical schools at bay long enough for the bodies to decompose), learn just how deep the bodies in there are stacked, and a little bit about the Battle of Flodden, and some unnecessary speculation about JK Rowling’s inspirations for Hogwarts. If you do ONLY ONE silly, touristy thing in Scotland - do this tour. At night. Preferably in the rain.

The Last Drop!

The Last Drop - A tiny little pub located on Grassmarket, it’s right next to the spot where they used to hang criminals. Hence the ridiculous pun of a name, and logo featuring a noose. They have delicious, cheap pasta, in big ol’ servings. Nom.

Mary King’s Close - One of the many (many many) streets that have been built on top of in the Old Town, Mary King’s Close has been preserved and is accessible for tours led by costumed guides. You go into some of the buildings, walk the street itself and look up at the 4-5 storey tenements above you, and get to hear little stories of the lives of the people who lived there. Supposedly the whole street, along with its population, was walled off and sealed in to prevent spread of the plague, but that’s actually totally made up. Probably.

The Jekyll and Hyde Pub is ridiculous. It’s located in the New Town, on Hanover Street just off of George Street. The inside is all test tubes and old-horror-movie Gothic trappings. You know - pointy chandeliers and flickering lights and things. They have drinks based on the Seven Deadly Sins (if I recall, Gluttony is a confection of Amaretto, Kahlua, Bailey’s, and cream - DANGEROUS!). You can order shots in test tubes. Completely ridiculous. And decent pub food, too!

The Scott Monument

The Park off of Prince’s Street is lovely, and home to the huge, neogothic monument to Sir Walter Scott. Excellent place for a picnic. Try not to think of the fact that backintheday, rather than a flourishing green space, the concave park was actually essentially an open sewer where all the effluence flowed down from the Old Town above. Mmm, fertilizer. Really, though, great place for a picnic. I promise.

The South Bridge Vaults are a series of vaults formed by the arches of the old South Bridge, which was built over and on top of and around. This being Edinburgh, the vaults of course became the favoured haunts of all sorts of nefarious characters, from gamblers and smugglers to prostitutes and assorted criminals and, allegedly, a ghost or ten.

Also, you should try haggis. Just think of it as multigrain hamburger - you'll get through it ok!

Please bring me the entire city home in your luggage.

Roxanne

Disney & Pixar + Mythical Scotland? Yes please!

2011-06-29T17:32:00.000-04:00

Summer Reading: Of Human Bondage (W. Somerset Maugham)

2011-06-27T20:58:00.003-04:00

About halfway through Of Human Bondage I realized that, despite its massive popularity both now and when it was first published, it’s more the kind of book I would be able to Appreciate, rather than truly enjoy. Yes, it’s complex and honest and asks important questions about human nature and man’s search for happiness. It’s also exhausting.

The narrative starts out as a typical bildungsroman (think David Copperfield). We follow the narrator, Philip, through early childhood tragedy, through school, time abroad in Germany and France, as he tries to find himself. First he wants to go to Oxford. Then he wants to be an artist. Then he wants to go into medicine. He tries to fall in love, and finally succeeds, with disastrous results. Maugham doesn’t let the reader off easy - Philip’s life is not an inspirational progression from boy to Great Artist or Great Doctor or Great Lover. He never particularly comes to terms with his club foot or his unrequited love for a somewhat miserable waitress and horrible human being named Mildred.

The first half of the novel is honestly pretty fun. Philip’s exposure to different thinkers and artists and lifestyles through his Heidelberg and Paris acquaintances is fun. They have some great discussions, bounce pretensions back and forth, and it’s nice to be a fly on those Paris cafe walls.

But then, of course, there’s medical school and Mildred, and Philip’s pathetic attempts to win her cold, withered little heart. The love/hate relationship is tedious; Mildred is so obnoxious that empathy with Philip and his tortured heart is exceedingly difficult to muster. By perhaps the third time Mildred re-enters Philip’s life, I defy any reader not to groan out loud.

By the end of the book, a now early-middle-aged Philip decides life has no meaning (a thought that makes him inexplicably and delightfully happy), and that the most reasonable thing for him to do is settle down and marry a girl ten or twelve years his junior, who he doesn’t love but who loves him and will cook for him and make-a the baybehs, etc. It’s particularly frustrating that a book which so painstakingly avoids moralizing or Universal Truths, suddenly blindsides you with not only a Moral, but an annoying and unsatisfying one.

This is probably the point, I know. The central theme - Philip’s search for individual freedom - is explored and dissected and redefined time and time again. By the end, he probably hasn’t attained it. Of course, there is another interpretation; perhaps Maugham simply wanted to instill the reader with an overwhelming urge to beat Philip about the head and shoulders with a blunt object. In which case, success!

I’m glad I powered through all 600ish (!) pages, but I’m also cool with never reading Of Human Bondage again.

I know - I’m a philistine.

__________

This is part 2 of my Summer Reading challenge, in which I tackle a long list of exciting books and bore you with my uninformed opinions about them. Read more about it here.

See awesome people hanging out together! Awesome!

2011-06-17T23:21:00.001-04:00

I am in love with this blog!

Prince William, Kanye, Prince Harry, & P Diddy

Susan Sarandon, Liza Minelli, and Christopher Walken

James Dean & Sammy Davis Jr.

Jeff Goldblum, Jane Lynch and Zoey Deschanel

Cary Grant and Amelia Earhart

Paul Rudd, Paul McCartney

Eartha Kitt & James Dean taking a dance class

Steve McQueen, Paul Newman, Barbra Streisand and Sidney Poitier

John Lennon, Yoko Ono, & Pierre Eliot Trudeau

Madonna, Sting, & Tupac

Michael Jackson & Paul McCartney

Michael Caine, Morgan Freeman & Liam Neeson

Audrey Hepburn & Fred Astaire

Bob Dylan, Mohammed Ali

Oh to be a fly on any one of those walls!

TGIF: Here is a kiss amid riot police

2011-06-17T16:38:00.000-04:00

Here's That Rainy Day: A Music Mix for a Grey Afternoon

2011-06-16T15:52:00.002-04:00

Source

Here's That Rainy Day: A Playlist for a Grey Afternoon

1. Rainbow Connection / Sarah McLachlan / Rarities, B-Sides, & Other Stuff, Vol.2
2. Lost at Sea / Eisley / Room Noises
3. A King and a Queen / Okkervil River / Black Sheep Boy
4. Inside + Out (Apostle of Hustle UnMix Live at BBC) / Feist / Open Season (Remixes and Collabs)
5. Can't Help Lovin' Dat Man (1963 Version) / Ella Fitzgerald / The Jerome Kern Songbook
6. Le Long du Large / Coeur de pirate / Coeur de pirate
7. Here's that Rainy Day (Koop Remix) / Astrud Gilberto / Verve Remixed 2
8. Pretend / Lights / The Listening
9. Silent Sea / KT Tunstall / Eye to the Telescope
10. After the Storm / Mumford & Sons / Sigh No More
11. Calculation (Theme) / Metric / Old World Underground, Where Are You Now?
12. Uprising Down Under / Sam Roberts / Chemical City
13. Changes / Stars / The Five Ghosts
14. Alesund / Sun Kil Moon / Admiral Fell Promises
15. Gloomy Sunday / Billie Holiday / Billie Holiday: Greatest Hits

Summer Reading: Dead Reckoning

2011-06-15T17:42:00.003-04:00

All right. I was too excited about this one to save it for the beach. It's been a year since I was able to get my hands on the new Sookie Stackhouse novel. Despite some twists and turns and dead ends in the series (i.e Sookie's deadly-boring romance with a weretiger named Quinn - no thanks.), I was pumped for this one. My having recently power-viewed season three of True Blood probably helped bump up my enthusiasm.

So? How is it? Well, guys, it's fluff. Glorious, delicious, vampire-y fluff. Do you want to smack Bill Compton? of course. Has Eric lost most of his appeal now that he and Sookie are a legitimate couple and the sexual tension has been resolved? Indeed. Are we surprised that, once again, convoluted vampire and were-politics are best resolved through gratuitous bloodshed? Of course not!

Dead Reckoning is definitely not as good as the first few Southern Vampire Mysteries; the character development is kind of meh. The plot doesn't leave you on the edge of your seat. But there are a solid couple of pages of Eric and Sookie doin' it, and Charlaine Harris as always does a great job of balancing the darkness and the goofiness of the entire premise of the series. That's a big difference you'll notice between the books and the TV show - the books definitely don't take themselves as seriously as the show does. There is a considerably lower angst-factor and Sookie has infinitely more agency.

Long story short? Blew through it in a couple of hours. Character continuity was lacking, which was aggravating. Overall, however: short, sweet, mindless, satisfying.

Anyone out there read Dead Reckoning? Wanna share?

__________

This has been the first item checked off my summer reading list. Follow the link to see what other literary goodies I've got lined up for my very own consumption!

Diamonds

2011-06-14T23:09:00.002-04:00

Source

Summer Reading

2011-06-14T21:41:00.123-04:00

On Lists and on Reading

I like lists. It's a blessing and a curse. I like to-do lists, playlists, lists of my favourite places, lists of things that inspire me, top-ten lists, you name it. I like to check things off once I have done them, to see the progress I have made on sometimes completely trivial but still totally satisfying projects.

I also like reading. A lot. When I was six years old I discovered a treasure-trove of Nancy Drew and Hardy Boys books in my Oma's basement. It was all downhill from there. In many ways books and the ways I interacted with them defined my childhood - a good book was and will always be the ultimate refuge. At the same time, though, I think books are the connection to the world, to the lives and emotions and thoughts of everyone we share this world with. As C.S Lewis said : "We read to know we are not alone." So, yeah. I like reading.

That's why every summer I put together a massive summer reading list and do everything in my power to get through it. There's no real rhyme or reason to my summer reading lists. Each year it's generally just a compilation of books that have sparked my interest throughout the year but which, for whatever reason, I just haven't gotten to. There will definitely be some schlock, and there will also be some academia. Perhaps some capital-C Classics.

This year, rather than simply ticking off my list in the back of my day planner, I'ma take things a step further. As any truly narcissistic bookworm would do, I'm going to blog about it. I promise reviews. I do not however promise any form of neutrality or academic detachment. You have been warned!

This year's list is a work in progress; it's still being compiled and I would LOVE to take recommendations! Have a book you loved and want to share? How about a book you LOATHED ENTIRELY and just need someone to share your pain? I'm wide open to suggestions!

In no particular order, here are my book selections for the summer thus far:

__________

:: Cleopatra: A Life - Stacy Schiff

A rave-reviewed, in-depth bio of my childhood hero? One that focuses less on her being all Sexy & Mysterious, and more on her politics, her brains, her epically messed-up family? Yes. Please.

:: Fasting Girls: The History of Anorexia Nervosa - Joan Jacobs Brumberg

Brumberg takes a seemingly "modern" medical issue - anorexia - and tries to find its sociological roots throughout history. From female martyrs who starved themselves to the Victorian phenomenon of the "fasting girl," I'm not sure what her argument is going to be, but I'm willing to bet it's going to be interesting!

:: London: A Life in Maps - Peter Whitfield

Mostly, I am in it for the Pretty. Maps! Maps! Old maps, new maps, how we understand & imagine our urban spaces!

:: The Final Testament Of The Holy Bible - James Frey

Ok, look. I don't think James Frey is a genius. I don't. But I do find him immensely readable and have a weird fascination with irreverent biblical fiction. Christopher Moore, I'm lookin' at you.

:: Art in the Lives of Ordinary Romans: Visual Representation and Non-Elite Viewers, 100 B.C to A.D 315 - John R Clarke

Promises to discuss not only Roman representations of the working class, slaves, etc, but more interestingly how art was created and experienced by these non-elite viewers. Rude graffiti, art in brothels and pubs, public architecture... excuse me, I need to go make snuffly little nerd-noises.

:: 1493: Uncovering the New World Columbus Created - Charles C. Mann

I read his other ultrapopular book, 1491: New Revelations of the Americas Before Columbus, and was thoroughly, whip-out-the-sticky-notes-and-highlighter, impressed. This new one isn't even out until August but you can bet it's on my calendar!

:: Herculaneum Past and Future - Andrew Wallace-Hadrill

Volcanoes, disaster, tragedy, preserved ancient cities, archaeology, art history, architecture, colour photos??

:: Empire Of Blue Water: Captain Morgan's Great Pirate Army - Stephan Talty

Ok, so I picked this one up in the bargain section of Chapters. I do have kind of a nerd-on for the history of maritime piracy, and also I am quite fond of rum. I've cheated a little on this one; I already skimmed through the introduction. While not exactly scholarly, Empire of Blue Water promises to be nothing if not delicious as a summer read!

:: The Emperor of All Maladies: A Biography of Cancer - Siddhartha Mukherjee

Honestly? This one's only on my list tentatively. Because while it looks incredibly fascinating, thought-provoking, and painfully relevant... in reading it I would be seriously running the risk of hurling myself into the depths of hypochondriacal anxiety. Hmm.

:: Curious Men - Frank Buckland

Accounts of Victorian oddities by a fellow considered to be somewhat of, well, a Victorian oddity.

:: Of Human Bondage by W. Somerset Maugham - FINISHED!

To be honest, I know almost nothing about this book. All I know is that W. Somerset Maugham famously said: "To acquire the habit of reading is to construct for yourself a refuge from almost all of the miseries of life." That's all I need to know.

:: Looking at Lovemaking: Constructions of Sexuality in Roman Art, 100 B.C - AD. 250 - John R. Clarke

Sex, art, archaeology, history... same place, same time. I'm down.

:: Dead Reckoning: A Sookie Stackhouse Novel - Charlaine Harris - FINISHED!

Are the Southern Vampire Mysteries great art? Hells to the no. You know what they are? A total blast to read. Think Twilight, but with vampires and werewolves that are actually dangerous and a heroine that actually has sex with 'em. All of 'em!
(P.S, after about the second book, they are different enough from the TV series True Blood that you're probably safe for spoilers!)

:: Lolita (Vladimir Nabokov) - FINISHED!

Because frankly, for someone with such strong opinions on this book, I should probably read it myself instead of just screaming "TITILLATION IS NOT THE POINT!" at people with no proof to back it up.

___________

So now it's your turn. Got any recommendations? Anything to avoid? What books are you going to cuddle up with on a sunny patch of grass?

Rachel McAdams is the most adorable hockey fan ever

2011-06-14T13:15:00.000-04:00

Rachel McAdams excited out of her mind to see herself on the Jumbotron at a Canucks/Bruins game. I wanna be her bestie and go for beers together and stuff!

Soul Candy: Things that inspire & make me smile

2011-06-10T16:00:00.002-04:00

Source

New Orleans

Southern Charm

Petroglyphs

Vodka that's good enough to sip

History framed as biography

Starting to power through my summer reading list

Sunken ships

Open access to wicked-cool archaeological findings

Impromptu grilled-cheese & wine picnics on the kitchen floor

Handsome boys in suits

Overpriced, ridiculously small, absurdly delicious entrees

Facebook comment threads that turn into long, respectful, engaging debates on gender & body politics

Green tea lemonade

Pictures of interspecies cuddling

Gin martinis with tons of olives
Cameo necklaces

What has inspired you this week?

[Image via Dark Silence in Suburbia]

Do not touch unexploded bombs.

2011-06-07T15:35:00.001-04:00

British and German Airships and Aeroplanes - c. 1914-1919.
The Museum of London

[via My Ear-Trumpet Has Been Struck by Lightning]

Ear Candy: Dirty Heads - Lay Me Down

2011-06-05T19:15:00.000-04:00

Ear Candy: Eddie Vedder - Dream a Little Dream of Me

2011-06-02T14:08:00.003-04:00

Soul Candy: Things that inspire & make me smile

2011-06-02T13:57:00.001-04:00

Source

Mojito Raspberry Mint tea

Boyfriend-made chicken soup when I have the sniffles

Concert tickets! Rihanna & Great Big Sea & Pearl Jam and Shambhala!

Bras that fit!

ShakeItPhoto: An iPhone app that lets you turn images into little Polaroid shots, and watch them develop!

Cities buried underground

Hot wings

Rock stars singing soulful tunes, accompanied only by ukulele

Getting tipsy off dozens of tiny little mini-mugs of microbrewed beer

11-year old supersleuths

Dandelions

Children's lit

History & archaeology & pirates! A the same time!

Dreaming about all the places I am going to see. And then researching them.

Lightning.

What has inspired you this week?

The Truth

2011-05-29T19:49:00.003-04:00

Source

[via Cool Chicks from History]

Ear Candy: Paramore - Misery Business

2011-05-22T23:28:00.003-04:00

Juvenile. Bitchy. Awesome.

The Mermaid

2011-05-22T23:14:00.003-04:00

The Mermaid - Oil - Howard Pyle - c. 1910

A mermaid found a swimming lad,

Picked him for her own,

Pressed her body to his body,

Laughed; and plunging down

Forgot in cruel happiness

That even lovers drown.

-WB Yeats

The books that made my childhood

2011-05-22T02:42:00.005-04:00

Remember how reading was when you were a kid? Back when you weren't really concerned with literary merit as such, or things like "themes" or "educational value" or whether people on the bus thought you looked smart reading them?

Remember when reading was just pure, unadulterated AWESOME?

Here are some of the books that contributed to my lifelong love of bookworming, and which stick with me to this day.

The Egypt Game - Zilpha Keatley Snyder

Classified by my childhood self (and possibly my current self) as The Best Book EVAR. Friendship, sneaking around behind the backs of grown-ups, super-elaborate, super-exotic made-up Egyptian worlds, creepy mystery, and just enough real-life danger to make it a bit more weighty. Best Scholastic Book Fair purchase my mamabear ever made.

Indian Captive - Lois Lenski

I remember the first time I read this, I got ultra-indignant that it contained the heavy subject matter it does - the protagonist’s family is murdered and she is taken captive in a Seneca raid - and pouted for about ten minutes before reading on. Please understand, I was the kid who got pissed off at Bambi for making me cry and refused to ever watch it again. That said, I read on and probably read Indian Captive about seven times over the course of one summer. Probably also the first book I read in my life that introduced moral ambiguity!

The Balloon Tree - Phoebe Gilman

Princess Leora loves balloons. Her father, the king, goes out of town for a tournament. He tells her if anything goes wrong, she must release her thousands of balloons into the sky, and the instant he sees them, he will come back. Of course, her evil uncle (who I am 99% sure is 100% based on the man in the Arnolfini wedding portrait!) immediately goes about popping all the balloons in the kingdom so he can do some serious usurping. The way evil uncles do. Too much pretty to even handle.

The Nancy Drew Mysteries - Carolyn Keene

I defy you to not love Nancy Drew, even if you do so ironically. She’s all spunky and good looking and smart and her best friends are an overcautious, super-pretty chubby girl named Bess and an awesome ultra-tomboy named George. Never mind that if “to adventure” were a verb, Nancy would obviously be able to adventure circles around her super-lame boyfriend, the awesomely-named Ned Nickerson. Whenever I re-read these, even though the formulas and catchwords used over and over are really obvious, they make me smile. “Titian-haired” is definitely my favourite, despite the fact that I am still only about 80% confident in my conclusion that it means strawberry-blonde.

The Outsiders - S.E Hinton

A quick read, with some super-dated and slightly-awkward slang (“Greasers” I get, but.. “Socs?”) but also, ultimately, an excellent teenhood tearjerker. Also introduced me to Robert Frost.

Stay gold, Ponyboy.

The Secret Garden - Frances Hodgson Burnett

Read it. And then try to find the super-ancient 1949 movie version with Margaret O’Brien. Actually, this book’s so viscerally a part of my childhood that I don’t think I can actually say anything objective about it. It’s wonderful. It's all windswept moors, tragic family secrets, mysterious crying sounds from hidden rooms. Also, flowers.

The Castle in the Attic & The Battle for the Castle - Elizabeth Winthrop

Using a two-sided magic token, William shrinks himself to the size of the little figurines that come with the model castle given to him by his old nanny. He befriends a miniature knight with major short-man syndrome, and they have adventures. There is an evil magician. In the sequel, The Battle for the Castle, William returns and this time there are also giant terrifying rats that definitely gave me nightmares.

Redwall - Brian Jacques

Brian Jacques wrote Redwall to be read to blind children. Probably the first truly imagery-rich book I made it through as a kid, and definitely the first “grown-up sized” book. Redwall is a little peace-loving, religiously-ambiguous abbey inhabited by assorted mice, voles, moles, hedgehogs, and the like. It comes under attack by a gigantic rat (!!!) known as Cluny the Scourge, and his wicked army of less-cuddly rodents like ferrets, rats and weasels. A brave little mouse named Matthias gets to prove his heroism. It has its cutesy moments, but despite the cute little animals, it’s less Disney and more Watership Down + Lord of the Rings. There are swords.

Sideways Stories from Wayside School - Louis Sachar

These short stories run the gamut from hilarious to desperately creepy. Not to bring up rats again, but the story that sticks out most vividly in my memory, and I am not sure whether it’s from this collection or its sequel, is about a rat. Basically there is a new student in the class, who shows up in a big raincoat. The teacher asks the student to take the raincoat off so they can see his/her face. Off comes the raincoat. Underneath is another raincoat. This happens a five or six more times, and the student appears smaller and smaller and there is definitely a smell. Anyway, they get to the last raincoat, the student is encouraged to take it off, and... Turns out to be a dead rat. Yes, the new student is a dead rat.

How about? What got you into reading? What books from your childhood inspired or scarred you a little for life?

Ear Candy: Beyonce freakin' brings it. Always.

2011-05-19T13:58:00.003-04:00

Soul Candy: Things that inspire & make me smile

2011-05-13T14:28:00.006-04:00

Source

Coconut Java Chip Frappuccinos

Campfires & marshmallows

Spontaneous "I love you" texts

Sherlock Holmes

Troubleshooting guides that actually solve your problems!

Tangled!

The too-funny cover of Levi Johnston's autobio

Making long, ambitious summer reading lists

Blasting Cascada in my little smurf car with the windows down and getting dirty looks from bearded truckers!

Nancy Drew

Ditching the foundation and switching to tinted moisturizer with SPF-15

Anticipating zoo dates!

Cute pubs that look ancient on purpose

Picking up concert tickets

Thor: pecs & pretty stars & a space city that looks suspiciously like the Emerald City

Relaxation

2011-05-10T17:07:00.005-04:00

Source

"Tension is who you think you should be. Relaxation is who you are."

- Chinese Proverb

Don't Worry!

2011-05-08T02:49:00.000-04:00

Source

It's so easy to forget!

Soul Candy: Things that inspire & make me smile

2011-05-05T17:15:00.009-04:00

Ghoulish histories of old cities.
People starting to bust out their sleeve tattoos 'cuz it's springtime.
Watching The Boyf attempt to wear his t-shirt as pants.
Bonobos.
Pretty little dresses.
Beth Ditto.
Books you can't put down.
The best. Pens. EVER.
Planning camping trips and mountain adventures.
Bright blue toenail polish.

Having access to JSTOR again, being able to research weird and wonderful historical goodies to my heart's content!
Feeling like a Grumpy Old Man when I try to understand Twitter.
The Glow.

What inspires you?

NASA shows that Earth's mass warps space and time

2011-05-05T12:17:00.001-04:00

The Geodetic Effect

This morning in Awesome Shit I Totally Don't Understand: NASA's Gravity Probe B has collected data confirming Einstein's prediction that the mass of planet Earth alters both space and time around it. Not only that, but the Earth pulls the space and time surrounding it as it rotates.Francis Everett, the physicist who led the project, describes the effect thusly:

Imagine the Earth as if it were immersed in honey. As the planet rotates, the honey around it would swirl, and it's the same with space and time.

This effect was detected using super-sensitive gyroscopes, and appears to confirm both the geodetic effect and frame-dragging. Which is neat, even though I had never heard of either until today!

"Pictures of the Times"

2011-05-04T23:46:00.006-04:00

In 1996, the Museum of Modern Art in NYC put on an exhibition of about 150 photos from the archives of the New York Times. Some lovely soul has posted a portion of the collection online.

White House will not release bin Laden photos

2011-05-04T16:27:00.003-04:00

President Barack Obama announced today that he will not be releasing images of Osama bin Laden's corpse. While there are already those out there (ex-Birthers, methinks?) crying conspiracy, I can understand Obama's reasoning here:

It is important for us to make sure that very graphic photos of somebody who is shot in the head are not floating around as an incitement to additional violence or as a propaganda tool…we don't trot out this stuff as trophies.

The potential benefits of silencing a few Donald Trump types, while gratifying, would be far outweighed by the likelihood that the dissemination of these photos could very well inflame anti-American sentiment amongst extremists and, more importantly, perhaps those who are currently on the fence:

This was somebody who was deserving of the justice that he received, and I think Americans and people around the world are glad that he is gone, but we don't need to spike the football, and I think that given the graphic nature of these photos, it would create some national security risk.

Russell Brand is smart, thoughtful. Who knew?

2011-05-01T19:59:00.002-04:00

White House releases Obama's birth certificate

2011-04-27T15:32:00.001-04:00

Source

God, wouldn't you be embarrassed if you were Donald Trump?

Ear Candy: Gossip

2011-04-26T23:18:00.000-04:00

2011-04-25T17:16:00.001-04:00

Source

Teiji Hayama
[via Dark Silence in Suburbia]

Dead creatures for your cooter

2011-04-21T16:01:00.000-04:00

The Jam Sponge

There is nothing I could possibly say for this product that its official website doesn't. Let me introduce you to the Jam Sponge - a super-icky-named all-natural sea sponge that you use instead of tampons! "You simply squash it into your vagina and it soaks up the blood!" -- their words! Theirs!

It's nice, I suppose, that it's reusable, all-natural, etc. But while I'm fascinated with the concept of the Diva Cup, I'm not sure I'm yet sold on the idea of stuffing a dead sea creature into my hoo-haw.

[via Jezebel]

it's always ourselves we find in the sea

2011-04-18T19:00:00.002-04:00

Source

maggie and milly and molly and may
went down to the beach (to play one day)

and maggie discovered a shell that sang
so sweetly she couldn't remember her troubles,and

milly befriended a stranded star
whose rays five languid fingers were;

and molly was chased by a horrible thing
which raced sideways while blowing bubbles:and

may came home with a smooth round stone
as small as a world and as large as alone.

For whatever we lose (like a you or a me)
it's always ourselves we find in the sea

- e.e cummings

Steal like an artist

2011-04-18T18:01:00.002-04:00

How to Steal Like An Artist (And 9 Other Things Nobody Told Me) by Austin Kleon.

Lazy Sunday: Muppet Edition

2011-04-17T14:30:00.001-04:00

TGIF. Here are some bunnies in cups.

2011-04-15T13:32:00.000-04:00

Love for picture books.

2011-04-14T18:01:00.006-04:00

The New York Times recently received a 15-foot long letter to the editor from Birch Lane Elementary School in Davis, California. The gigantic letter responds to an editorial piece published in the Times lamenting a supposed waning interest in picture books.

In response, the elementary school launched a month-long campaign called Love a Picture Book Month, during which their students read 4,590 picture books. Students, family, teachers and staff also compiled a list of the 100 all-time best picture books for readers everywhere.

Click here for the letter sent along by the school's librarian, Lynne Sundstrom.

[via Jezebel]

National Geographic recreates the Up house

2011-04-11T17:53:00.005-04:00

The super-adorable Sarah at Yes and Yes! linked to this gallery featuring images of an Up-inspired floating house. National Geographic's team of engineers, scientists, and balloon aviators built the house, complete with multicoloured balloons, to be featured on a, upcoming new National Geographic program called How Hard Can it Be?, premiering this coming fall.

According to National Geographic's blog, the resulting structure reached an altitude of over 10,000 feet, and flew for around an hour.

A girl and her room

2011-04-11T16:53:00.005-04:00

I remember once, at the age of probably eight or nine years old, being allowed into my cousin's room. The walls were covered floor to ceiling with magazine cutouts of models, TV heartthrobs, and "Got Milk?" ads. The floor was a mass of clothes. I seem to recall plaid, but that could be my older self projecting my idea of the 90's back to her room. There was a radio which she used to record tapes for me, featuring Britney Spears and Barenaked Ladies songs, but on which I liked to think she listened to scary teenager music -- you know, like Nirvana and Pearl Jam. My favourite part of my cousin's room, though, was the light-up princess doll she kept in the closet but had not thrown away.

Rania Matar's photography project, A Girl and Her Room captures images of those havens of teenage girls' self-expression. Watching her own teenage daughter going through the tumultuous period of adolescence, Matar became fascinated by the idea of the bedroom as a sort of very private haven, where a teenage girl (or boy) could escape from the outside world while still expressing - and creating - their own identity through art, media, and their own surroundings. She obtained permission from her daughter and her daughter's friends to photograph them in these most personal of spaces, and in doing so, became

...fascinated to discover a person on the cusp on becoming an adult, but desperately holding on to the child she just barely left behind. A person on the edge between two worlds, trying to come to terms with this transitional time in her life and adjust to the person she is becoming. Posters of rock stars, political leaders or top models were often displayed above a bed still covered with stuffed animals; mirrors were always an important part of the room, a reflection of the girls' image to the outside world.

The project is now expanding beyond its original scope, to incorporate images of teenage girls from diverse socioeconomic backgrounds, both within the United States and overseas.

Personally, I love these images. They're a tiny glimpse into someone's whole universe, as they see it. Neato!

Click through to view the entire project.

Eartha Kitt wants to be evil

2011-04-09T15:07:00.002-04:00

bandwagon, jumped

2011-04-07T18:15:00.003-04:00

Love.

Soul Candy: Things that inspire & make me smile

2011-04-07T16:45:00.012-04:00

I have been having one of Those days. Needy, socially-inept, downright rude corporate people on the phone. Unreasonably cold weather. New-shoe blisters. Irritating news items.
But instead of bitching about these things, I will take a deep breath and think about all the things that inspire me. Such as:

Robins. The constellation Orion. Planning Very Secret Surprise Dates with the Boyf. Bath bombs from Lush. The Urban Decay Naked Eyeshadow Pallet - who knew there were so many things you could do with variations on brown? Coconut-lime tea. Tiny needy puppies. Getting long handwritten letters! Being in love. The Sagrada Familia in Barcelona. Tiny executive skirts. Owls. Jewelry that looks like owls. Driving with the windows down in sheer spite of the un-Springlike cold. Things that smell amazing. Superparamagnetic nanoparticles! Lisa Simpson. Typing on the sexy backlit keyboard of my MacBook. Super delicious sushi. Making lists. Egyptian mythology. My tiny German Oma, who recently broke her hip and currently spends her time smartmouthing the nurses at the hospital. Mermaids.

What inspires you?

Illinois pharmacists allowed to refuse to dispense morning after pill

2011-04-06T16:46:00.006-04:00

Yesterday, an Illinois judge ruled that pharmacists may legally refuse to provide customers with emergency contraception on religious grounds. Judge John Beltz stated in his decision that to force pharmacists to dispense the morning-after pill violates the first amendment as well as state right-of-conscience law. My question is, if you have fundamental religious objections to doing something that is an element of your job, why choose that career? Why do we never hear about, say, Scientologist pharmacists fighting for their right to refuse to dispense antidepressants? Why do we never hear about Mormon baristas fighting to serve only decaf? I suspect any suit along these lines would be laughed out of court. Your job, as a pharmacist, is to dispense prescription and over-the-counter medications which are legal in your country and your state. Deal with it.

Further to that, however, the fundamentalist Christian objection to emergency contraception baffles me. Anyone who understood in the most basic manner how the morning-after pill works is aware that it does NOT terminate a pregnancy. What it CAN do is PREVENT said unplanned pregnancy, and therefore help prevent things like, oh, abortions and welfare mamas and all those other horrors that right-wing America likes to rail against.

Head, meet desk.

[via Jezebel]

Curvacious Victorian Fairy Strippers

2011-04-05T21:52:00.007-04:00

Three of my favourite things in the same place at the same time! Yep, I'm talkin' fairies and Victorians and risque pictures. This image is taken from a performance of the burlesque show Ariel at the Gaiety Theatre, London, October 8th 1883.

I also like that they have legs like mine.

[via Fuck Yeah, Victorians!]

Principal tackles schoolyard bully

2011-04-05T21:20:00.003-04:00

So there has been a video going around of a high school principal breaking up a fight. In the video, Girl A (a bigger girl) is kicking the crap out of Girl B, who is on the ground. We see someone (a teacher, I believe) ineffectually going through the motions of trying to calm things down, as Girl A continues repeatedly kicking and punching Girl B. Out of nowhere, Shenendehowa High School's assistant principal dives into the frame, pushing Girl A to the ground and off of Girl B. Originally I was going to post this video in a positive light, big-mean-bully-gets-what-is-coming-to-her. But while the principal clearly acted in an appropriate and necessary way, the situation in the video as well as the blogosphere's reaction to it has been in some cases disturbing.

A quick glance at the YouTube comments is a bit of an indicator. Comments like "Fatty went DOWN" or "Fat bitch had it coming" and the like abound, which I find immensely frustrating. I mean, really? Let's condemn bullying behaviour by engaging in... well, bullying behaviour? Ouch. I am not saying, "oh let's all feel so sorry for this girl who is spitting on and kicking a peer on the ground" but it drives me nuts how people can gleefully cheer for a bully being taken down and perpetuate that same type of behaviour in the same breath.

Also, whoever was filming the fight? You sir, are a doucheknuckle.

[via Jezebel]

Things Stephen Harper does to seem human

2011-04-04T23:52:00.006-04:00

Today, instead of getting myself all worked into a tizzy over how stabby our current ex- possibly future- PM makes me, I thought I would instead link to something that reduces me to giggles.

Some lovely soul has put together a tumblr documenting Stephen Harper's various attempts to appear human before the press. For an example, see the above image of Stephen Harper: Midnight Cowboy. Silly Stephen. Just cuz you're nominally a person doesn't mean you aren't a damn smelly crook. And also beady-eyed.

Pre-Clovis tools found in Texas creek bed

2011-03-29T17:59:00.005-04:00

Neat stuff. An archaeological excavation in Texas has dug up scrapers, digging tools, etc., that date at least 2,500 years before the arrival of the so-called Clovis people to North America. For a while, the Clovis theory held that the oldest inhabitants of North America were a migrant group from Northeast Asia, who would have into North America when the Bering Land Bridge connected Alaska to Asia.

While there has recently been a reasonable amount of contention about that theory, as well as variations on it (i.e, that there were in fact two simultaneous migration groups, one of which came by boat, etc.), if this find pans out it could make for some pretty compelling evidence. Neato.

I like the way you smile, the way you smile oo-hoo!

2011-02-21T15:24:00.002-05:00

Mini-Vader in Volkswagen ad

2011-02-03T23:38:00.002-05:00

Too cute.

She shot me down

2011-01-18T02:22:00.004-05:00

Annie Oakley, 19th-century sharpshooter in petticoats, shoots over her shoulder using a hand mirror. Born into a Quaker family, she eventually toured with Wild Bill's Wild West Show. She always wore skirts and carefully cultivated her dichotamous image as a badass shot and proper Victorian lady. Despite her insistence on maintaining the image of a modest and proper lady, she also supported women's right to equal pay for equal work, and trained hundreds of women to shoot.

[via Turn of the Century]

New Year's To-Do List

2011-01-18T01:51:00.004-05:00

Ok, I'm a little behind. I'm also OK with that; no one needs an arbitrary, quickly slapped-together list of New Year's resolutions. Things like "get fit" and "read more" and "learn a language," are so vague and broad that you can't measure success in any half-objective way. Plus, that shit's intimidating.

So I have a fairly short, fairly specific list of resolutions - no, let's call them to-do's for 2011.

1. Volunteer at a museum
This way I hope to stay engaged with my interest in history, as well as get some experience within the realm of public history, which I had never really considered as a career before... but which would open some interesting doors. Already have some application feelers out on this one!

2. Visit my grandparents more

A little vague, but very much do-able. It's easy to get wrapped up in work and my man and freaking out about my future career, losing track of some of the other Basic Important Stuff. My Little German Oma is in a lodge, and I know for a fact that despite her curmudgeonly tendencies, visits absolutely make her day. Also, once you manage to pry them out of her, she has a million incredibly fascinating stories about growing up in Germany during the Second World War.

My other set of grandparents live within ten minutes of my house, and are infinitely more sociable than the former. Again, stories and quality time!

3. Serious Career Exploration

This means more than Googling "social worker pay scale." I have been lucky enough to have been provided with contacts in various fields that I'm interested in, and I need to jump on that opportunity. Chatting, job shadowing, whatever. I'm at a time in my life where I have, if anything, too many options, so let's not curl into the fetal position quite yet!

4. Surround myself with inspiration

What does this mean? It means that while I'm doing all this soul-searching and time-taking, I can't put my life on hold. I may stay at Current Less-Than-Stellar job for a while, while I perfect the ol' resume and look for Real Jobs and explore academic options. But that isn't my whole life. I need to keep myself stimulated and inspired! This means taking some classes, spending quality time with the Wonderful Boyf, reading anything and everything, putting up photos of silly Victorian things, being a new-music sponge, and generally being awesome.

Also continuing to draw hearts on things. <3

5. Don't just absorb - Create

This is the New Year's Toughie. I'm going to write every single day, no excuses. It might just be a line. It will usually be total crap. But I'ma do it. Because I love it and it makes me happy, and also I'm more than a little terrified that now that I am out of school any writing ability I may have cultivated will immediately atrophe.

I'm thinking those five are a solid, solid start. And I'm sure the Internet was just fascinated to death by them. Insert cricket chirps where appropriate. Anybody wanna share your resolutions/to-do's/do-don'ts for the new year?

Josh Groban sings Kanye's tweets

2011-01-04T14:46:00.001-05:00

Oh Josh. Your music is so boring but I LOVE YOU LIKE A THIRTEEN YEAR OLD.

there is nothing wrong with you!

2010-10-02T15:21:00.002-04:00

[via The Natural Female Form]

Soul Candy: Things that inspire & make me smile

2010-09-03T23:11:00.007-04:00

Too-earnest rock and roll. Nice customers. 18th-Century Scotland. Interdisciplinary historical goodies. Little yellow flowers that inexplicably smell like coconut. Long, hot soaks in the tub. Ridiculously ancient bits of humanity. Stepping on that super thin, brittle layer of ice that freezes onto curbs in the fall. Boys with sleeve tattoos. Stars that are so far away, that by the time we can see them they might not even be there anymore. Atticus Finch. Best friends who can read your mind. Barcelona. That fake-looking deep blue glow of the horizon at almost-nighttime. Tigerlilies. Cary Grant . Inuit art. Pubs. Pens. Sharks.

What inspires you?

strap your hands 'cross my engines

2010-09-03T23:05:00.003-04:00

i wanna know if love is wild, babe, i wanna know if love is real

Hero of War

2010-08-04T00:22:00.003-04:00

I know, I know, it's Rise Against, but man. It doesn't really matter where you are on the political spectrum, this is just an absolutely devastating little song about what war does to people - especially the soldiers themselves who come out of it changed.

Be kind to yourself.

2010-07-26T21:09:00.001-04:00

I love that someone did this.

History of Erotic Depictions

2010-07-26T20:46:00.002-04:00

God, I love Wikipedia. They have a whole section on the history of erotic depictions, which, while an overview, combines just the right ratio of images to history to art history to please both the pervert and the nerd in me. And probably you too.

run.

2010-07-26T17:49:00.002-04:00

Fantastic Mr Socks

2010-07-19T00:08:00.003-04:00

Imagine living in a time and place where these awesome-cool stockings counted as acceptable footwear. I want to visit that place. But maybe not stay long.

'Buffalo Bill's'

2010-05-19T14:00:00.007-04:00

(e.e cummings)

Well, hot dam.

2010-05-05T14:29:00.004-04:00

A group of beavers has built a dam in Alberta that is visible from space. The dam is 850 metres long (more than twice the length of the Hoover dam) and is likely inhabited by several beaver families working together.

A guessing game:

2010-05-01T20:30:00.002-04:00

What the hell are these kids reacting to?

Law and Order: Gotham City

2010-04-29T18:08:00.002-04:00

Fire

2010-04-29T17:29:00.007-04:00

"New lovers are nervous and tender, but smash everything. For the heart is an organ of fire."
(Michael Ondaatje)

Obligatory heartwarming moment

2010-04-29T15:23:00.004-04:00

"Accepting her fate as an orphan of war, ‘Miss Hap’ a two-week old Korean kitten chows down on canned milk, piped to her by medicine dropper with the help of Marine Sergeant Frank Praytor.The Marine adopted the kitten after its mother was killed by a mortar barrage near Bunker Hill. The name, Miss Hap, Sergeant Praytor explained, was given to the kitten ‘because she was born at the wrong place at the wrong time’."

Korea, ca 1953

[via Dark Silence in Suburbia]

"I carried a watermelon."

2010-04-25T23:31:00.002-04:00

Exhibit A: Patrick Swayze
Exhibit B: Ridiculous high pants
Exhibit C: Use of the phrase "Yo, cuz!"
Exhibit D: WATERMELON.

The court of Awesome is ADJOURNED.

Lawrence and Sex

2010-04-22T15:32:00.008-04:00

"Yes, I do believe in something. I believe in being warmhearted. I believe especially in being warm-hearted in love, in fucking with a warm heart. I believe if men could fuck with warm hearts and women take it warm-heartedly, everything would come out right. It's all this cold-hearted fucking that is death and idiocy."

-D.H. Lawrence

__

I know, I know, DH Lawrence says some problematic shit, especially from a feminist perspective (women as submissive "recievers" of sex etc). Still, I love the above quotation. I love that someone who wrote scandalously and provocatively about sexuality and sex itself (he was censored all to shit for years), did so not just to be titillating, or to shock or dismay the uptight world around him (although it did all those things), but to emphasize sexuality as a healthy and essential experience on a human level. I love that he was pro-sexuality, in a way that viewed human sexuality as not a sin or animal instinct but as an act of connection, healing, and mutual pleasure.

Gala Darling recently posted a great little piece in response to a reader who was feeling pressured to have casual sex for its own sake. Gala's response is thoughtful, nuanced, and sex-positive. It emphasizes the sheer variety of sexual experience and preference; that it is absolutely OK to have wild promiscuous sex if that is what you want and enjoy. But she is also clear that no one "has" to have sex to "ratchet up their number" or to be cool or feel validated.
There are a plethora of motivations behind the decision to have (or not to have) sex and that there are no "shoulds" or "should-nots" in sex, beyond being true to your own desires and beliefs, and of course, keeping it safe for both yourself and your partner.

Also via Gala Darling, this video on the pornification (shut up, it's a word) of culture is just fabulous:

a man who had fallen among thieves

2010-04-22T14:30:00.001-04:00

a man who had fallen among thieves
lay by the roadside on his back
dressed in fifteenthrate ideas
wearing a round jeer for a hat

fate per a somewhat more than less
emancipated evening
had in return for consciousness
endowed him with a changeless grin

whereon a dozen staunch and Meal
citizens did graze at pause
then fired by hypercivic zeal
sought newer pastures or because

swaddled with a frozen brook
of pinkest vomit out of eyes
which noticed nobody he looked
as if he did not care to rise

one hand did nothing on the vest
its wideflung friend clenched weakly dirt
while the mute trouserfly confessed
a button solemnly inert.

Brushing from whom the stiffened puke
i put him all into my arms
and staggered banged with terror through
a million billion trillion stars

- e.e. cummings

Soul Candy: Things that inspire & make me smile

2010-04-22T13:51:00.010-04:00

Gothic architecture. Things that sparkle. Chubby women in art. Fairy tales. Herodotus. Beautiful boys who don't realize it. Swamps. Baudelaire. Red wine. Tiki men. Whales. Art Nouveau. Green men. Rivers. Stone buildings. Weird old photographs. Patios. Mermaids. Graveyards. Dusk, when the sky is an improbably smudged-purple bruise. Shimmer. Rich, pigmenty eyeshadows. Tiny Christmas lights throughout the year. Little electric-blue flowers. Wendigos. Languages. Grace O'Malley. Macbeth. The split second before a first kiss. Gargoyles. Ghosts. Cobblestone streets. Victorians. Yeats. Cowboys. "A million billion trillion stars." The Bronte sisters. Jungian archetypes. Isis. Hot showers. Stories about constellations. Misguided passions. Candles. Supernovae. Marzipan. Eve Ensler.

What inspires you?

Random and wonderful

2010-04-18T00:16:00.003-04:00

Nope; I have no context to offer you. But this made me grin from ear to ear.

This is not a mugshot; it's an illustrated guide to smouldering.

2010-04-14T16:08:00.005-04:00

Yep. The Smoking Gun has military service photos of Paul Newman.

The joys of hats

2010-04-13T23:45:00.003-04:00

Ostensibly, I am pulling an all-nighter writing a twenty-page paper on masculine/British imperial identity in fin de siecle British Gothic novels. In procrastinating, while staying vaguely on topic, I've discovered the best Tumblr ever.

The Quotable Professor

2010-04-13T20:06:00.006-04:00

"Only one person may leave the to go to the washroom at a time, so if we have mass diarrhea we will have to cancel the examination."
(My seventysomething Classics professor)

Be always drunk.

2010-04-12T14:26:00.004-04:00

You have to be always drunk. That’s all there is to it—it’s the only way. So as not to feel the horrible burden of time that breaks your back and bends you to the earth, you have to be continually drunk.

But on what? Wine, poetry or virtue, as you wish. But be drunk.

And if sometimes, on the steps of a palace or the green grass of a ditch, in the mournful solitude of your room, you wake again, drunkenness already diminishing or gone, ask the wind, the wave, the star, the bird, the clock, everything that is flying, everything that is groaning, everything that is rolling, everything that is singing, everything that is speaking… ask what time it is and wind, wave, star, bird, clock will answer you: “It is time to be drunk! So as not to be the martyred slaves of time, be drunk, be continually drunk! On wine, on poetry or on virtue as you wish.”

- Baudelaire

He ate my heart and then he ate my brain

2010-03-31T18:48:00.003-04:00

It's no secret that I am desperately in love with Lady Gaga. In fact, in an attempt to more truly live the vida Gaga, I'm currently at work on a seven-step plan to gradually stop wearing pants, ever. Mostly kidding.
The one teeny-tiny thing about her, however, that makes me want to stab myself in the eye is the song Just Dance. Bish, I'm not even going to LINK to it, it irks me so. While Gaga's vocals are all fine and dandy - nothing wrong with a little hammered dancing with your gals - all of a sudden Colby O'Donnis comes in and the song turns creepy/predatory/frat boy. "Hey guys this chick is wasted, I'm gonna take her home and ~~rape~~ have ~~dubiously-consenting~~ sex with her." Fortunately that one song seems so far to be merely an irritating blip on my Gaga-dar, and her new song Monster comes across as what the folks at Jezebel are suggesting is counter-argument to the creepier bits in Just Dance - "I wanna Just Dance / But he took me home instead / Uh oh, there was a monster in my bed," etc.
'Course there are multiple levels of meaning to any song with half a thought behind it (...I'm not looking at you right now, Ke$ha), and a more straightforward interpretation is that rather than being about date-rape, Monster is simply about falling in love with boys that are bad for you ("he ate my heart and then he ate my brain"), which is how I initially read it. .
Anyway, feel free to ignore all of the above. The main point of this post was for me to link to the song so you can revel in the gothypoppy earcandy.